blood & chocolate
chapter twenty: drink your poison
“the oppenheimer movie is insensitive” how? how is the story of one of the most brilliant scientists to walk the earth, the detailing of all his inner turmoil and grappling with the fact that he contributed to something so dangerous that the world will never be the same again insensitive? is it “lack of representation”? nuclear science, especially back in the 30s and 40s, was notoriously a white sausage fest. madame curie and lise meitner didn’t really receive the universal respect they do now until years after they died—and madame won the nobel prize twice, too! no one really wondered if radium was dangerous until male factory workers started dying from radium paint used for clocks (meanwhile, women workers were dead-ass putting it in their mouths and hair and skin while they worked and were glowing in the dark until they died in silence). is it the fact we dropped two bombs on japan? oppenheimer knew what he was getting himself into (“now i have become death, destroyer of worlds.”) Einstein did, too.
and excuse you, but barbie dolls were studied some time ago and there is an overwhelming link between them and eating disorders. the desire to be perfect and desirable for your own personal ken doll. all eating disorders, especially anorexia, are based out of perfectionism—i know this because i have anorexia. in fact, i’m seeing posts saying the barbie movie is actually triggering their eating disorder—and what’s worse is you have to scroll down pretty far to see them. they’re barely being acknowledged, meanwhile the so-called feminists whining about “men hating this movie” (without any examples no less) are getting attention out the nose. there was another study, pretty recently, that looked into barbie’s proportions if she was real: i forget what the measurements are, but they were so hyper-exaggerated that it would be impossible for her to even walk normal.
but, oh yeah. chris nolan hates women. girls aren’t allowed to have anything. we can’t have anything ~girly~ men won’t allow it.
give me a break.
why is this so accurate
funny, cillian just called it a “labor of love”. maybe he just said it like that because there wasn’t much he could say until the time was right. i look at gosling’s comment and i see a spineless person bullshitting (biased, i don’t really like ryan gosling, i don’t find him very attractive; he’s on the same level as channing tatum, i don’t really… see it).
but you think i’m joking?
said this last night and imma say it again, you guys need to stop this. you know how no one likes it when dudes bitch about shit made for women? it goes the other way, too: i went through the oppenheimer tag just now and saw a bunch of ~girlies~ trashing that one, whereas i literally haven’t seen anyone say anything bad about the barbie movie. yeah. for real. if one exists, the other is bound to as well, and often in plain sight, no less.
saw another post saying chris nolan “hates women” and “doesn’t want the girlies to have anything” because apparently the dark knight was released the same day as mamma mia back in 2008. first off, i genuinely forgot about mamma mia 😅 but my grandma, my mom, my aunt, and i all loved the dark knight. in fact, i’ve known a number of women who love the batman movies (my grandma also loved batman begins, which was surprising to all of us). but i think i saw mamma mia on tv a few years back and i literally couldn’t finish it—and i love musicals, too.
oh, yeah, total misogynist.
“this movie is not for you”, i hear you all say about perceived disk horse about the barbie movie. well, it works here, too.
signed, a girl who will take the oppenheimer movie over the barbie one any day (i played with barbies, too!)
re: our house
even though they got the check, my mom still has all her money.
either there’s a miscommunication here (?!) or the check bounced.
they got the money.
we saved the house.
i imagine him being like kramer in the serenity now episode of seinfeld.
trying to look at peace with the world but he doesn’t look well and i have a sense that he’s growing hot under the collar.
bottling up those true emotions for the sake of saving face with that phony he calls a partner—at best, she’s a phony. at worst… i don’t want to think about it. it makes me cry to think about it.
captain howdy.
funny how seasons grey began life as nothing more than fantasy and yet, it turned out to be somewhat autobiographical. my own desire to help him, and in more ways than one, no less. your subconscious knows far more than you do.
there is something terribly wrong here, and no one else can see it. you are more than allowed to dislike someone, but this is something else.
i am once again feeling helpless and like i’m losing my own marbles to the point i have to focus on myself and let my own shadows fall away.
all things must pass, after all. “serenity now. sanity later.”
remember a couple of years ago when i first started watching alex more closely, how healthy he looked? his face was all chubby and he had a little round tummy, and his skin was so clear and smooth looking. his hair looked nice and healthy, too. hell, when his mom first entered the hospital, he looked really healthy: nice and chubby and whatnot, and you can see it from behind his mask, too. my kink aside, it’s way better to be a little chubby, especially at his age.
look at him now, a month after the incident. his hair is a complete mess, his eyes are gigantic like big black holes (the whole “lights are on but nobody’s home” vibe), and he looks gaunt, like he starved himself. i keep saying it but he just… he doesn’t look good. he looks sick. it’s like he had a stroke or fell into the deepest depression and began neglecting himself or something. i still don’t believe it’s a coincidence, either.